Archive for August, 2007

08
Aug
07

Calloused

I thought I would finish/post an entry that I started a LONG time ago… 

I’m sitting in my office reading and preparing to teach this coming Sunday.  I just got scared… 

Sunday, I’m wrapping up a series called “New Year, New Life” where we’ve been taking some time to evaluate our lives with God; taking some time to give God space to work in our lives.  It’s been good.  I’m finishing by talking about embracing our life with God as an adventure.  I can’t believe that God designed us to lead a lame, boring, mundane, mediocre life.

Here’s what has got me a little freaked out.  I’m reading – and catching a contagious passion on this subject.  While I’m sitting here, I sense a familiar stirring.  It’s a little strange, but familiar.  It’s this stirring to live radically, passionately on purpose. (No Purpose Driven pun intended)  The scary thing is that this feeling, a passionate drive to pursue life…to press forward in the name of Christ – it was strange, and only familiar.  It was once a vibrant, clear cry of my heart that’s been muted, muffled, concealed.  I have become calloused.

But, I refuse to live calloused.  I want to live in a soul stirring state.  I don’t want to build a wall around the deepest longings of my heart so that I can be a little more presentable.  I long to live a radically passionate, purposeful life.  I can’t bear the thought of floating through life like some half rotted piece of driftwood cruising down the river.

So God, keep my heart stirred; my passions vibrant.  Grant me strength to conquer, not avoid, those things which build walls around my heart and make numb where You intend for me to feel most invigorated.