Archive for August, 2006

20
Aug
06

and then there was a little tension

It’s been an absolutely crazy busy season around here.  Maybe I’m a little more caught up in it than others, but, I think it’s been nuts. 

It’s been a good kind of crazy, but really really busy none the less.  There are a few things that I’ve been thinking a lot about in the midst of the oober nutty schedule. 

1-I get to trust God.  When I get all stressed out by the lines on my to do list, I’m going ahead and assuming that its me who has to get it done in the first place.  Way off…  If I can trust God to do what He’s going to do, then I shouldn’t be stressed in the least.  I should be concerned – but that’s different from being stressed.  I’ve really been thinking a lot lately about letting God get stressed out,  since it’s all His to worry about anyways. 

2-Here’s something that strikes down to my core: this tension.  It’s greater than stress vs. trust; and not so easily described/defined.  There, at least in my mind, is this great tension between being passionate, consumed, savagely committed to God’s call on my life, living with a “win or die” attitude; and maintaining my life’s priorities in such a way that honors God, my wife and family, and myself.  

I’ve seen the pain and destruction that comes when this balance get’s out of whack…and it’s not something that I want to go through; or put others through for that matter.  So, I’m really seeking out what life looks like…what and where is the healthy rhythm? 

I whole-heartedly believe that God gives His people passion, desire and drive for a reason, I am no exception.  I’ve got the strange and unexplainable passion for my life to be significant…(I’ll post on the multitude of thoughts I have concerning that idea soon)  How do I primarily direct all of that drive to being a follower of Christ and having a healthy life with healthy relationships?  Especially when there’s all this stuff bubbling around inside that I need to find a place for as well.  After I direct that, will I then be able to deal with the other things that God may have in store; and in the way that most brings God glory? 

Maybe it’s a simple as defining priorities…  If my priorities are in line, then I see things the way God sees.  If I see my primary purpose or objective is to live a healthy, God-honoring life, then it helps to keep me in check. 

I really just wish I had everything figured out.  You know, because that wouldn’t make life in the least bit boring.  But, the truth is, I’m struggling to figure out what it means to be called; to have a yearning for significance; to be who God has called me to be.  So, I just pray, and lean hard on the unspeakable grace of an amazing God; pursue righteousness and excellence; and, ultimately, trust in God to take care of the big picture. 

Is that all He desires after all?  I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it being that easy.   

07
Aug
06

failing

so, about that.  I am really bad at this appearantly.  I’ve tried to post 2 different times and they’ve not gone through.  I’m a bonehead. 

07
Aug
06

why can’t I make it work?